From Control to Curiosity: What Great Leaders Actually Do
“People don’t resist change. They resist being changed.”
Last week in my Motivation class at Harvard, we hosted a panel of seasoned leaders (including a Groops partner of a hypergrowth company) who've all guided their organizations through growth, transition, and uncertainty.
Janet Morrison (CPO at Total Site Solutions), Eli Embleton (Dream Manager, Zachry Corp), and Tushar Pandit (Evoldera / former CPO of Spins). They represented a spectrum of industries, growth journeys, and approaches to leadership. What struck me most wasn't their strategies or credentials, it was a pattern in how they motivate.
Each of them, in different ways, embodied a truth we often overlook: real motivation doesn't come from control. It comes from curiosity. Rather than telling people what to do, they've learned to ask better questions. They motivate by helping people find their own reasons to act. It's subtle but powerful, and it shifts everything from compliance to commitment.
Radical idea: you can't motivate people. You can only create conditions where they motivate themselves.
Minding the Motivation Gap
This is one of those timeless leadership tensions: control vs. curiosity, direction vs. discovery.
Too much control creates compliance but kills ownership, slows innovation, and shrinks conversations
Too little structure can feel directionless, but curiosity without care can feel like abdication.
The real question isn't "What gets results fastest?" It's "What builds sustainable motivation?"
Individually, leaders have different comfort levels with letting go. But at the organizational level, the question becomes: do we optimize for short-term compliance or long-term commitment?
Why Balance Matters
Teams that sustain high performance don't choose control or curiosity, they learn to flex between them. That means:
Creating clarity on goals while inviting input on approach
Trading persuasion for evocation and helping people surface their own motivations
Building psychological safety by showing genuine interest in others' thinking
The balance point shifts with context. Motivational Interviewing (Miller & Rollnick, 1991) shows that evoking - not imposing - creates lasting behavior change. Complementing this, Daniel Pink's Drive (2009) reveals that autonomy, mastery, and purpose unlock intrinsic motivation far more powerfully than external rewards or mandates.
“The opposite of control isn’t chaos. It’s trust.”
What Happens When You Get It Wrong
Over-controlling leaders create teams that comply but don't commit
Under-engaged leaders leave teams without direction or support
Pseudo-curiosity - questions asked without genuine listening - breeds cynicism
Early-stage teams may tolerate directive leadership, but scaling teams need leaders who coach. The art of leadership lies in knowing when to lead, when to evoke, and most importantly, how to balance the two.
The Groops Take
At Groops, we see this dynamic regularly in growing organizations. The best leaders don't ask, "How do I get my team to do this?" They ask:
What would make my team want to do this?
Where do they need clarity, and where do they need autonomy?
How do I listen in ways that build trust and ownership?
Something to Try: The Curiosity Practice
Pause before advising: When someone brings you a challenge, ask one open-ended question before offering your perspective
Reflect back: Summarize what you heard, accurately and without judgment
Evoke ownership: Ask, "What do you think your next step could be?"
Affirm effort: Reinforce progress and thinking, not just outcomes
These small shifts build the muscle of motivational leadership, the kind that inspires lasting engagement, not just short-term results.
Ready to Lead with Curiosity?
If shifting from control to curiosity feels challenging, you’re not alone. Groops’ provides hands-on tools and expert led coaching to guide this essential growth. Sustainable performance isn't about control. It's about curiosity, trust, and guiding people to find their own reasons to excel.