Trust: More Than a Feeling
March 27th, 2025
NOTICING AND WONDERING
This week in my Groups & Culture class (which is a team psychology class I teach at Harvard), we explored the concept of trust. I asked my students a simple but deceptively hard question: What is trust?
I noticed most people immediately go to something emotional - “It’s about feeling safe,” “It’s about being vulnerable,” or “It’s about closeness in relationships.” And while those answers aren’t wrong, they’re incomplete.
When we really break it down, trust is the alignment between what someone says and what they actually do. It’s behavioral. It’s observable. And in teams, it’s measurable.
If I say I’ll follow up and I don’t, trust weakens.
If I say I care about your opinion and then talk over you, trust weakens.
If I say I’ll support your idea and then stay silent when it’s challenged, trust weakens.
In contrast, when my actions consistently reflect my words - when I show up on time, deliver what I said I would, and admit when I can’t - I build trust. Not through emotional closeness but through reliability.
That matters, especially in a professional setting where collaboration depends on mutual dependability. Teams don’t need to be best friends - but they do need to count on each other.
I wondered how team dynamics would shift if we collectively redefined trust, not as a feeling, but as a pattern of dependable action.
What if trust wasn't something we hoped for, but something we actively practiced?
What if instead of focusing on whether people “felt trusted,” we focused on whether our behavior was trust-building - or trust-eroding?
What if every person on a team asked themselves weekly, “Did I do what I said I would do?”
When we shift our lens, we shift how we lead. Trust becomes less of a mystery - and more of a muscle.
A QUOTE TO THINK ABOUT
“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.”
DEEP-ish QUESTIONS
Where in my work life am I not fully following through and how might that be impacting others’ ability to trust me?
Which teammate do I find easiest to trust and why? What specific behaviors make that possible and how can I model those myself?
Are there asks (or conversations) I avoid because I assume the other person won’t follow through? What might shift if I gave them the benefit of the doubt and communicated more clearly?
SOMETHING TO TRY
The Trust Pulse Check
Invite your team to anonymously respond to the following three statements using a 1–5 scale (1 = strongly disagree, 5 = strongly agree):
People on this team follow through on what they say they will do.
I feel safe being honest - even when it’s uncomfortable.
I trust my teammates to act in the best interest of the team, not just themselves.
Then ask:
What’s one behavior we could shift to strengthen trust across the team?
You can run this monthly or quarterly to track changes over time and see where trust is strong - or needs repair.
CASE CONSULTATION
Question: One of my team members is really well-liked, but they frequently miss deadlines. It’s starting to affect how much the team trusts them - even though everyone still likes them personally. How should I handle this?
Dr. Bobbi: This is a great opportunity to lead with curiosity and compassion - two essentials in building trust and accountability.
Here’s how you might approach the conversation using Motivational Interviewing (a coaching technique) and unconditional positive regard, which is the foundation on which trust is built.
Start with empathy and affirmation:
"I really appreciate ______. You’re someone others enjoy working with, and the things you do really well are ______."
Reflect and explore the behavior:
"I’ve noticed that some deadlines have been slipping recently, and I wanted to check in with you about it as I imagine that must feel frustrating or stressful at times. I wonder if you have noticed that too and is there anything I can help with?”
Note: Helping doesn’t necessarily mean absorbing their work, but it can mean thinking through together, brainstorming solutions, talking about etc.
Invite collaboration:
"We are a team and we are in it together and we all are here to help each other. We all need a little help sometimes as work shifts and moves. The most important thing is that we talk about and find solutions together.”
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Thanks for reading and keep on connecting.
Best,
Bobbi
Bobbi Wegner, Psy.D.
Founder and CEO of Groops: helping teams feel and function their best
Lecturer at Harvard University in Industrial-Organizational Psychology
If you are curious about a workplace dynamic or issue, send me an email at drbobbiwegner@joingroops.com and I will anonymously post it and respond. If you are thinking it, others are too. We can learn from each other. Also, if you are curious about the cohesion and health of your team, book a complimentary 30-minute consultation HERE with one of our Groop Guides.